


The Trials of Motherhood

by refusetoshine



Series: Trektober 2020 [1]
Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Motherhood, post-partum depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:35:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26775217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/refusetoshine/pseuds/refusetoshine
Summary: Taking care of an infant can be overwhelming, but Beverly learns she doesn’t need to do it alone.
Series: Trektober 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1953313
Comments: 6
Kudos: 17
Collections: Trektober 2020





	The Trials of Motherhood

**Author's Note:**

> This is my entry for Day 2 of [Trektober 2020](http://trektober-challenge.tumblr.com). The prompt I chose was “Caring for a Child”. 
> 
> WARNING: I drew on some personal experience here, having dealt with severe post-partum depression myself. Beverly’s experience here is a lot less intense than mine was, but it still could trigger anyone who has dealt with post-partum depression.
> 
> I’d also like to acknowledge the wonderful [AnnaOnTheMoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaOnTheMoon/pseuds/AnnaOnTheMoon), who has written some wonderful Stargazer era fics that inspired a lot of my characterization here.

She paced through the small Starbase apartment for what seemed like the millionth time that evening, rocking the crying infant in an effort to calm him down.

“Shhh Wesley, it’s alright,” she said quietly.

There had been more and more nights like this, ever since Jack had gone back to the _Stargazer_. Beverly would try everything to quiet him. He definitely wasn’t hungry and she checked his diaper more than would be considered necessary. Every time, she would eventually just manage to get him to sleep only for him to wake up the minute he was put down in the bassinet. It seemed the only way he would sleep is if he was cuddled up next to her. 

As a medical student, Beverly knew the risks of co-sleeping. They had been well documented over the centuries and they lingered in her mind every time she gave in and held her son close to her. Tonight, she had been determined to get Wesley to sleep in the bassinet. 

His cries quieted, and tired eyes began to close. She sighed breathlessly in relief. Just then, the door swished open to reveal Jack, along with his fellow officers and best friends Walker Keel and Jean-Luc Picard. At the sound, Wesley’s eyes opened with a start and he immediately began crying again. 

“No no no!” 

She began to sob along with her son. Jack walked in and gently touched her arm.

“Bev, honey? Are you alright?”

Beverly looked up at Jack with tears streaming down her face. She was certain he could see the same dark rings she saw every morning when she looked into the mirror.

“No,” she choked out, “No, I’m not.”

Jack stretched his arms out. 

“Here, let me take him.”

Reluctantly, Beverly handed over their still crying son. Jack began to walk around with him, bouncing him gently. 

“Hey little guy. It’s Dad,” he said softly.

Beverly collapsed down onto the couch and put her face into her hands. Walker and Jean-Luc sat down gently on either side of her.

“Sorry for waking him up, Bev,” Walker apologizing, gently rubbing her back. 

“It’s fine,” she said in a tone that indicated otherwise

“It’s obviously not,” replied Jean-Luc.

Beverly looked up at her friends. Both men had a _look_ on their faces. It was the same looks her neighbours gave her on the rare days she left the apartment. It was a look of pity and if there was anything Beverly didn’t want, it was to be pitied.

“Honestly, it’s fine,” she replied, wiping the tears from her face, “It’s just an off night.”

Beverly rubbed her hand through her hair, getting caught on some knots that had formed. Her two friends looked at each other and she knew they’d noticed it.

“Beverly,” Jean-Luc asked softly, “Are you sure it’s just an off night?”

She broke down again. Both men embraced her as she began to explain everything from Wesley’s sporadic sleeping habits to the isolation.

“I feel so helpless,” she sobbed, “I should know how to do this. I know what babies are like. I’ve helped deliver a few.” 

“Bev, no one is an expert on parenting right away,” Walker said reassuringly, “My sister Anne has three kids and she still says she’s learning how to parent them.”

“I feel like I’m not doing well enough, like I’m not good enough of a mother for him.”

Jack, having managed to get Wesley to sleep, came back into the room and knelt in front of his wife.

“Beverly, trust me, you are doing amazing. Wesley is healthy and fed. He’s a little difficult to get to sleep, but that’s a baby thing. It’s normal.”

She wiped the tears from her eyes and gave her husband a small smile. 

“Thank you.”

Walker and Jean-Luc decided to take this opportunity to leave the couple to talk further.

“You can call me anytime, you know that?” Walker said to Beverly as he gave her a hug 

“I know,” she replied, giving him a quick peck on the cheek, “Thank you.”

Jean-Luc also gave her a quick hug and the two men left the small apartment. Beverly watched them go, then turned to Jack, thankful that the three men had come when they had.

——

As the two men left the apartment, Jean-Luc’s thoughts were swirling around his mind. Walker turned to him.

“She needs some help,” he sighed.

Jean-Luc nodded in agreement. While he was no counselor, he had a feeling that Beverly was suffering from post-partum depression. Even in the 24th century, it was still an issue that people faced after childbirth. 

The two men walked towards their respective temporary quarters for their stay. 

“G’night Johnny,” Walker said, clapping him on the arm before entering his quarters.

“Goodnight Walker,” Jean-Luc replied, mind still pre-occupied.

Walker gave a small concerned smile to his friend before closing the door, leaving Jean-Luc alone in the hallway. He stood there for a few minutes. Then he smiled, having come to a solution, he headed for his quarters. 

He had a call to make.

——

For the next few months, Beverly noticed that the _Stargazer_ seemed to take leaves more often at the starbase. When they were there, she had no lack of support. Even Jean-Luc, notorious for his uncomfortableness with children, would come and watch Wesley so she could get some sleep. 

When they weren’t there, she had support as well. After that first week of leave for the _Stargazer_ crew, her mentor Dalen Quaice and his wife Patricia had come for a visit. An emotional talk with him had led her to seek out some resources on the Starbase. Beverly had realized that she was denying herself the help that she would have suggested for anyone who had come to her with the same concerns. 

Beverly still had some tough days. There were times where she got upset, but instead of just grinning and bearing it, she would call someone, either on the base or on subspace and talk through it. She had come to realize that relying on others wasn’t necessarily a weakness. Sometimes it was a sign of strength.


End file.
